grief

Playing The Field

Every month of 2022, at the Full Moon’s Zenith, dejacusse serenaded The World with synth improvs, soundscapes from the vault and Waves of Gratitude via Radio iBoD/dejacusse. Listening to the broadcast recordings of synth improvs, I felt so much heart resonance as all frequencies flowed like the rivers they ARE!! As I listened deeply, I heard and remembered gestures that rendered shapes and movements in the sonic spectra. This is how I attend to and expand my understanding of The Field.

What is this Field that I am so focused on at this time? The Field emanates from the Audiorigami template, and turns that template inside out and sideways. The substance of The Field is “all of the waveforms,” so the entire sonic spectrum of frequencies is available here. Much of 21st Century science is pointing loudly at the vibrational essence of everything!! The sonic spectrum covers 9 octaves and is present wherever there is any kind of atmosphere, including gases. The Field includes all frequencies equally; it is a level ground for play! Audiorigami began with The Fold, and all that folding landed us in The Field. The Field is vast and continually shifting and moving in many directions. The Field is alive, it inhabits space-time, and – its electric!

Control voltages are a primary initiator of waveforms, while the shape of the wave enhances and diminishes harmonics in sound frequency spectra. Musicians work with harmonics all the time, but usually as a secondary consideration to the production of melody and song structure. Out here in The Field, it is the interplay of harmonic frequencies that takes center stage. It is the folding/unfolding/stretching/pulsating of timbre itself that is our focus. At times, melodies and patterns emerge, and then they pull apart and disintegrate. In The Field, all of the waveforms are available for transmission to audio cortices, so this is a place to begin transmission.

I knew synthesizers were for me when I heard musicians talk about how hard they are to keep in tune! Synthesizers are living beings and as such, they are constantly attuning in the moment. Their sound is evoked via responsive relationships which involve a great deal of allowing. The Field, made up of synthesizers, offers up the frequencies, my role is to shepherd frequencies through all audio cortices (and beyond!) by studying and demonstrating the attunement process as it moves through The Field. How this all works depends on the components that make up The Field.

My first analog synthesizer was the Behringer Nuetron. This semi-modular synth sings via two Voltage Controlled Oscillators (VCO) that can manifest five waveforms, individually AND the space between them, as one form morphs into another. Right away the harmonic sculpting possibilities are indeterminable, because this is living energy! The ways that these waveforms interplay happen in the present moment! Oscillators can be set to a frequency (Nuetron VCOs can oscillate from .7hz to 55kHz) which is then passed through filters, Low Frequency Oscillators, envelopes, gates, delays, and voltage contolled amplifiers (VCAs) – all of which alter the harmonics, the pulse/beat, the duration and loudness of frequencies, even the beginning/middle/end of the sonic life of frequencies! All of these sound modulators can be routed into and through the oscillating waveforms as they throw out particular strands of harmonics. These harmonic strands are the substance of soundscapes.

Layers are added with new components! The Moog Subharmonicon and Make Noise O-Coast were the next additions to The Field. The O-Control serves as a sequencer for the Nuetron and a clock connection between the Nuet and Moogie. The Moog brings 6 VCOs to the pallette, two main and four sub oscillators. Each of the Moog VCOs is tunable and the suboscillators are harmonically linked to them. These oscillators can be further defined by packaging the frequencies in Equal Temperament or Just Intonation scalar relationships, in 8 or 13 step lengths over 1, 2 or 5 octaves.

For Monday mornings broadcast, the Cre8audio West Pest has been added to The Field! The current palette has the WP receiving pitch signal from O-Control and sending wave forms to the Neutron pitch in. The O- Control is also sending pitch to the Subharmonicon, so there is a tentative connection among all the components of The Field. It is daunting, but rewarding!! Kind of like our shared living experience!

Please join me from 1-3 am Monday morning Feb 20th for whatever will happen. Here is the link to the web-player, it is only live when I am broadcasting.

https://www.radiomast.io/station/ffa9c47f-f6bd-4eb9-ad61-c2c636ca88ca/pwa/app

Waves of Gratitude 2023

Waves of Gratitude was inspired, in early 2021, by Jim Kellough bringing me tiny speakers that could play individual files of sonic material. He envisioned them scattered about in an area out of doors where people come and go. Then Stephanie Leathers and Courtney Om put out a call for artists to come together for a SITES performance at The Accordion Bar in Durham. Perhaps we could make an installation with the tiny speakers for this event? Yes! Then sonic material began to present itself in my head- people saying “Thank you for …” within a sound container of waves crashing on the shore. Mark Boyd, who makes sound devices, made some little speakers that could loop a soundtrack. All these little speakers are battery powered, so another interesting possible shift in the soundscape was if a sound device runs out of juice the file on the device would sound no more at this time.Cool! We started gathering gratitudes and many folks responded which was thrilling. In the end, we had a forty minute soundtrack that included poetry, sound collages, memories, and song. Here is a video clip of the first idea for the installation with small speakers playing the voiced gratitudes and the large speaker playing the Waves! I liked this set up very much.

The SITES venue had multiple performances happening and audience members walking around, so I realized ahead of time that the small speakers could not be heard. So I used a large speaker and one of Mark’s tiny speaker and colorful lights for the Waves of Gratitude installation for SITES Reset in February 2021.

In 2022, I moved to a streaming Internet broadcast format as a way to offer dejacusse and IBoD soundscapes, sound sculptures and collages to The World. At the Zenith of the Full Moon each month of 2022, I broadcast a streamlined version of WoG 2021 and a 2022 version that started with the question “What does gratitude feel like?” and ended in grief and much confusion. These broadcasts featured soundscapes from my 12 years as a soundscape artist, recordings of iBoD – my band of cohorts- and LIVE synth improvs.

Currently, in the year 2023, I am continuing to enjoy broadcasting in alignment with the cycles of The Moon. So in order to amplify this enjoyment, a New Moon Broadcast has been added to the schedule. The first New Moon Broadcast was one hour and fifty-four minutes of LIVE improvisations from The Field (ft Subharmonicon, West Pest and O-Control), and 2 iPad apps-Ripplemaker and Novation Launchpad.) The plan is to review each New Moon Broadcast recording, find those profoundly resonant moments, and cast them into 2023 Waves of Gratitude.

Each month I will post the dates and times for the upcoming broadcasts on the page linked below. The New Moon will be all improvisation and the Full Moon will be Waves of Gratitude in all of its manifestations plus pre-recorded sound works by dejacusse and iBoD aaaand some LIVE improvisation. Here is the link to the blog page.

https://dejacusse.blog/radio-ibod-dejacusse-web-player/

First New Moon Broadcast

Tomorrow from 3-5 pm est, Radio iBoD/dejacusse will stream live soundscape improvisations from The Field, Ripplemaker (see graphic), and Novation Launchpad. This is the time of the New Moon when that bright, white orb is hidden by the shadow of the Earth. This is the time of new beginnings and powerful resets. I intend to cultivate transparency (What am I hiding?), vulnerability (What am I protecting?) and an expansive point of view which allows all to be.

I have written in previous posts about Ripplemaker and Novation Launchpad. Ripplemaker is an iPad synthesizer which is a wonderful template to learn about sound synthesis. The little I know about what I am doing comes from playing with Ripplemaker and studying Patch and Tweak, the amazing book on all things synthesizer! Novation Launchpad is an iPad app that is a groove box with lots of opportunities for beat driven soundscapes.

The Field has evolved over the past couple of years. It emanates from the Audiorigami template, and turns that template inside out and sideways. The substance of The Field is “all of the waveforms,” so the entire sonic spectrum of frequencies is available here. Much of 21st Century science is pointing loudly at the vibrational essence of everything!! The audible sonic spectrum covers over 10 octaves and is present wherever there is any kind of atmosphere, including gases. The Field includes all frequencies equally; it is a level playing ground. Audiorigami began with The Fold, and all of that folding landed us in The Field. The Field is vast and continually shifting and moving in many directions. The Field is alive, it inhabits space-time, and – its electric!

Control voltages are a primary instigator of waveforms, while the shape of the wave enhances and diminishes harmonics in sound frequency spectra. Musicians work with harmonics all the time, but usually as a secondary consideration to the production of melody and song structure. Out here in The Field, it is the interplay of harmonic frequencies that takes center stage. It is the folding/unfolding/stretching/pulsating of timbre itself that is our focus. At times, melodies and patterns emerge, and then they pull apart and disintegrate. In The Field, all of the waveforms are available for transmission to audio cortices, so this is a place to begin transmission.

I knew synthesizers were for me when I heard musicians talk about how hard they are to keep in tune! Synthesizers are living beings and as such, they are constantly attuning in the moment. Their sound is evoked via responsive relationships which involve a great deal of attention and allowing. The Field, made up of my current synthesizer set up, offers up the frequencies, and my role is to shepherd frequencies through all audio cortices (and beyond!) by studying and demonstrating the attunement process as it moves through The Field. How this all works depends on the components that make up The Field. For tomorrow’s broadcast The Field is comprised of the West Pest from Cre8te Audio, the Moog Subharmonicon, and the Make Noise O-Control. I intend to improvise for the entire time.

Here is the link to the web player for the streaming broadcast. It is only live during the hours of broadcasting, so tune in tomorrow between 3-5pm est!

https://www.radiomast.io/station/ffa9c47f-f6bd-4eb9-ad61-c2c636ca88ca/pwa/app

As always, my deepest thanks for listening!

As Waves of Gratitude 2022 Evolves…

Three rivers of sound are coming together to create Waves of Gratitude 2022. First, the living Control Voltages that trigger, modulate and end waveforms in vast timbral washes that display the harmonic patterns of the very life force which they embody. These building blocks of sound are available in modular and semi-modular synthesizers. Within this sound context of synthesizers interacting, iBoD practices “conversational interactions” which involve presence, deep listening and responsibility (intentionally exercising our innate ability for dialogic response). Second stream is the voices- people sharing gratitudes, sharings sounds they are grateful for, and in particular expressing what gratitude feels like. This is the question I am asking now in 2022: What does gratitude feel like to you? Take the question wherever you want! Third stream is the sound of Waves – I loved the ocean wave container from last year and want to take that sound and swell it up a bit. The Waves need more water! So I begin here!

And, at this point, I have much material in the “conversational interactions” context. Jim Kellough and Eleanor Mills come over every Tuesday and play within and around the synths. We have an array of sounds, from reedy melodica to bright sparkly recorders and Native American flutes to growling digital horn!! The synths set the table with rhythmic tones and unusual harmonic smears which can be maddeningly stable to giddily hither and yon. The smallest turn of a knob opens up whole new vistas of sonic relationships. Then the three of us engage with the synths and each other in an exchange that changes over time. A few weeks ago we played for an hour and 20 minutes. WoW!

Every Full Moon this year, 2022, Waves of Gratitude is transmitting vibrational appreciation via streaming radio broadcast. These vibrations are shared one hour before and one hour after the Zenith of the Full Moon. The Zenith is when the moon reaches its highest point in the sky above the observer. This time is like the sun at noon, and seems energetically auspicious to me. During the broadcast, we will listen to Waves of Gratitude 2021, to Waves of Gratitude 2022 as it evolves, and to live improvisations with Nuet, Moogie and OC! In addition to this, dejacusse and iBoD (idiosyncratic beats of dejacusse) have a back catalogue of soundscapes and other tunes which will be highlighted during the broadcast. Maybe the 2022 WoG will be an album!

As I have lamented in the recent posts, the voices speaking gratitude is not happening. I have not even recorded myself, so what can I expect of others. I am going to answer the question “How does gratitude feel to me?” and start the Wave! If you are inspired it is sooo easy to do. First, if you know how to record yourself on your phone or other device, record your answer to “How does gratitude feel to me?” and then send it via email to ibodgwave@gmail.com! If we are friends on Facebook, you can send me an audio Messenger message. Go to the space where you would normally type your message, tap on the space. You should see a microphone icon, give it a tap and start talking, when you are done talking, tap the send arrow like you would if you had typed in text. I will have your audio gratitude for The Wave! Thank you for sharing yourself with me and with listeners all over the world.

Waves of Gratitude for April will broadcast from 2 pm to 4 pm Eastern Time Zone on Saturday April 16th. This Wave will begin with the first 15 minutes of WoG 2021. If you are curious as to how your audio gratitude might sound in The Wave, tune in at the top of each hour for WoG 2021. WoG 2022 will actually get started during this broadcast with a recent iBoD recording from our Sun Ra Room Sessions mixed in with this year’s Wave sculpture! There will also be live improvisations on the synthesizers! I hope you will join me!

https://www.radiomast.io/station/ffa9c47f-f6bd-4eb9-ad61-c2c636ca88ca/pwa/app

Waking Life, Waves of Gratitude!

Richard Linklater’s animated film Waking Life relieved me of a heavy life-long burden. Up to the time of seeing Waking Life, I was attempting to fit my living experience into and around Aristotlean dramatic arcs and The Game of Life linear narratives, which were presented to me as the “norm”. People around me spoke of and STROVE for “normal lives” in “The Real World”. Human beings seemed to feel passionately about their life circumstances and relations. They believed in and lived out a story of life through these dramatic arcs and linear narratives. My family was more into easiness and getting along with each other, so the drama was subtler, filtered by a kind of controlled kindness. Yet, I was curious about the “Real World” and for much of my life I was guided by beautiful, loving, trusted adults and peers who would point things out to me in that exploration. I often noticed inconsistencies between what I was taught, and what was actually happening, still I wanted to find a way into the drama of life.

So I studied the forms and tried to fit my experience into them. This focus in itself allowed me to participate but I did not feel fully present in these experiences. My awareness was divided and expansive. Perhaps I was overly present, who knows? l have vivid memories of both waking and dreaming life from childhood to Now! When I tried to live the normal linear life, I got distracted by all the rockets of desire and all the curious patterns of Samsara. As a child, a part of me was always standing outside and watching with an appreciative wonder or an apprehensive stillness as events unfolded, then later on, as a young adult sitting in a theatre, watching. Then directing the action of the dramas so beautifully sculpted by Williams, Miller, Albee. In graduate school, all of literature became reflections of the drama of human’s deeply identifying with their experiences. AND, I was introduced to metaworlds. Knowing of metaworlds brought my personal living experience into clearer focus. I have been pursuing that focus ever since.

Then I saw Waking Life, and realized that the form of my life is like a patchwork quilt of deeply intimate moments, of creative activities with many wonderful, specific people as we float through time. These magnificent occurences are bright and colorful moments that arise out of the oscillations between stillness and sound, between love and fear, between lies and truths, between righteous anger and personal responsibility, between ideas of who I am and the wonders of the Universe. So many moments that touched deeply, conveying love and care in spite of the undercurrents of fear and insecurities. I learned so much from you all, so very much.

Waves of Gratitude is my soundling tribute to all of these bright and colorful moments! If you remember even one moment we shared as I described above, I hope you will listen as The Wave grows, and when you are so moved you will lend your voice to Waves of Gratitude.

Remember when we were poets, playwrights, watercolorists, actors, singers, curators, and co-creators?!?

Remember when we studied, wondered and laughed, played games, talked late into the night, got lost in the woods, wrote poems and created performances!

Together!?

Remember…?

I do!

I love us and I am grateful for it all!

The Dance of Ego and Consciousness

I love how life, when allowed, unfolds in diverse and beautiful ways. The Culture of the Human Organism (COTHO), which we all create together, was/is formed by the interplay of humans doing and humans being. We, individually, have the ability to DO busy worker bees and to BE still, vast awake beings. Doing and Being are the yin/yang of living. They exist on a continuum, like a cross-fader mixing two signals, and we move the fader around by focusing our conscious awareness.

The DO is about identity, achievement, leadership, playing with others. The DO is fitting into and identifying with the material realm/the world/COTHO. The DOer seizes the day and makes a life, The DOer gets things done, gets rewarded, and so gets more things done, often achieves some level of what we call “greatness” or, at the very least, strives for greatness. DOers think, plan, coordinate. They are busy doing and making the world. Egoic mind, beliefs, values, thoughts, stories and meaning are parts of this realm.

This realm manifests COTHO! The Organism is rich, and in constant motion. It seems to be expanding just as the Universe seems to be expanding. The Organism is The World. Ever since we were kicked out of the Garden, COTHO has been making The World in an image of the Garden. And with so many individual shattered segments DOing The World right now, the primary direction seems to be “more”, “further”, “faster”.

The BE is about shedding worldly identities, expanding consciousness and being fully in the present moment. All there is is NOW! (la- la lalala) BEing is still, alert and attentive. BEing exists in a state of timelessness. BEing finds the world mostly humorous, and a little sad. BEing allows everything that is enfolded in the present moment to be!

Newborn babies have a tremendous. capacity for BEing. Adults recognize this energy in babies. This is why we love them so much, love being with them- they are awash in being, thinking no thoughts. Babies are pure presence. Alas, too soon, babies become ensnared in human doing. My highest wish for every child is that they protect, develop and cherish their BEing, and not let conciousness become obliterated by the push to identify and the exaggerated need to belong.

I have struggled with this all my life. Since I was very young, I felt slightly out of touch with 3D reality or The World. “Just wait till you get out in the real world!” said many adults I encountered. I was never sure what “real world” they were referring to. So I tried to find this “real world”. I looked for it in my parents, teachers and other signifigant adults, in school and church, in communities, close friends, colleagues, in educational degrees and lesbian feminist identities. I looked (and found) what felt the most real to me in intimate relationships: lovers, dear friends and co-creators – those people with whom you stay up all night, dancing around the fear of/desire to completely open and merge with another. I really felt I found the real world there, but it turns out, there is more! With each decade, great swaths of many Worlds revealed themselves to me and the journey has been heartfelt and mostly joyful – even when suffering, I give myself over to it and enjoy the whole experience immensely.

Luckily, many people have cared for, connected and collaborated with me over these years. I love all of those beautiful people, and I have not always made it easy for them. The sense of myself was small and huge at the same time, always bouncing between these extremes. I had faith in consciousness even as I distrusted it. I let my egoic identity make me small and mean at times. This still happens, but the voice of consciousness is clearer, and ego can be lovingly attenuated to allow that still, clear voice to come through. Today, as I sit in this beautiful present moment, I give thanks to all who were right there with me in all those wonderful Nows of the past.

As Holly Near sings -“The past has brought me brilliantly to here!”

Third Friday Performance@Durham Arts Council   July 21st  7:15pm                          

Jan Ru Wan and Megan Bostic collaborated on the current DAG show entitled Reconstructing Existence: I Create Therefore I am which will run through August 12th at the Durham Arts Council. This coming Friday, July 21st, Jody Cassell will present a movement piece in response to their work. Jody will be accompanied by dejacusse’ new soundscape The Drone of Aggrievement along with improvisations by vocalist Shana Adams and Morgan Fleming on violin. The performance will run from 7:15 to 8ish.

The art that you will experience that evening arises from a deep grief that enveloped the artists following the loss of a parent. Jan Ru, Megan and Jody have discovered mediums, forms, textures, patterns and relationships through found and intermingled objects and movement to allow their grief a public expression. Each person’s journey with grief is a singularity that we can witness and resonate with. The graceful power of these expressions of grief invite the audience members to reflect on their own grieving.

This is the third collaboration for Jan Ru, Jody and I; and our second with Megan. The first was in 2013 in the Seimans Gallery at Durham Arts Council. Resolving the Disquiet was the raw stage of grief where the memories of the parent’s presence and the shock of their loss was felt. Then last October at VAE in Raleigh, Jan Ru Wan created Separation and in-between an installation that was about reflection and connections across time and space. Jody and I improvised movement and sound offerings for both of these exhibits. Here is a link to more about the VAE show:  http://wp.me/p5yJTY-fd

The DAC show focuses on a renewed existence through creativity. The grief remains but brings energy and muse in relation to “what is.” The show is beautifully curated and very sculptural.

For this exhibit, I was inspired to create a drone in a carnatic scale that begins on Bb. Bb is the tonal center of much of the natural world. Cricket and frog calls, cicada songs and other more drone-like nature sounds tend to resonate in B or Bb. The drone is made up of long tones from this scale in large interval relationships. The 11th Harmonic is worked in to help disrupt any stuck energy.  I chose voices that pull at the heart (woodwinds and strings) and created audio effect racks to destabilize and texturize the sound. Wind is a featured sound texture along with snipping scissors, keystrokes, and Jody’s voice reading bits of her performance piece  Walking to Nairobi.  Shana and Morgan will improvise along with and independently of the soundscape – all as accompaniment to Jody Cassell’s dance piece.

Please join us this Friday, July 21, at the Durham Arts Council DAG Gallery at 7:15 pm.

The Gift of Nature’s Chord 

Nature’s Chord is an organizational framework for all frequencies, AND any periodic reoccurrence can be converted to frequencies and studied as this patterned relationship. In his book The Cosmic Octave, Hans Cousto, the maverick mathematician and scientist, demonstrates the formula for converting any periodic function to an audible frequency. He explains that “The period of oscillation and its frequency stand in a relation of inverse proportionality, thus period = 1/frequency and frequency = 1/period. The reciprocal value of a period of time represents its frequency…” You find the reciprocal value of a given period by dividing the number into one. This value is then multiplied by 2 until the number reaches the audible frequency range. Then you can find the tonal correspondence to the periodic function that you just converted.

For example, the speed of light is 186,000 miles per 1 second. “Miles per second” is a dead giveaway that this measurement is a periodic function. (Actually almost any measurement would qualify.) 1/186000 = 0.000005376344086 x 2 to the 25th power = 180.4 hz which is F#/185 hz (-3.6 discrepancy). So the tone for the speed of light is F#. Cousto converts time periods (days, years, etc), planetary orbits, distances between the stars into frequencies. The mathematics point to a potential resonant frequency for any periodic function.

In a recent blog post on The Law of the Octave, I pointed out that our Universe is held together and moved along by vibrations. Even a cursory reading of contemporary quantum physics supports this idea. Nature’s Chord allows access to and influence upon the vibrational Universe. As a painter of sound, a lover of diversity, and a harmonic healer, this is one exciting discovery. This is a way to sonify and present information, bring the resonant frequencies of relationships into harmony, and generally engage with the overall vibration of any situation.

So, I am looking around for periodic data to sonify using the Law of the Octave and Nature’s Chord/Scale. In 11th Harmonic, I used the reveletory research that Dr. Anthony Holland presented in his TED talk on the use of the 11th harmonic in “disrupting ” the cellular structure of tumors. Of course, the frequencies he is dealing with are super high electrical frequencies. When we apply the Law of The Octave, the electrical frequencies can be converted into audible frequencies. Then through the template of Nature’s Chord, we discover that the 11th harmonic is the fifth above the Fundamental Frequency in the fourth harmonic octave. So the 11th Harmonic soundscape begins with those long spacious intervals. I chose four whole tone tetrachords and then paired them with the fifth in the fourth octave. Within the first four octaves of Nature’s Chord lies two more fifths and the third and flatted seventh. When you start swinging these intervals around, more tetrachordal relationships emerge. It is a firework of harmonics when moving quickly, then a luxurious web of sound swaying in the breeze at slower paces. Here is a little excerpt of 11th Harmonic as played on April 4th to reset the time fractal and disrupt the stuck energy behind war and violence.

And, sure enough, Trump bombed Syria. (And the butterfly flaps its wings.) The 11th Harmonic disrupts and moves the energy without any particular outcome except dislodging and moving the energy. (Which is why Dr. Holland does not say the 11th harmonic “cures” cancer. It disrupts the integrity of the cancer cells.) And, at the same time, Nature’s Chord and the Acoustic Scale express beautiful, harmonious sonic relationships, within which the change is happening. That is the vibe! As these magical relationships are expressed with open-hearted loving intentions, entrainment happens and the vibration rises up. And, it happens in mysterious ways. Entrainment is alot like God, like Love.

While I was writing this post, Trudie asked, “Did you know that the Hindu creation myth says that the world was created through sound?” No, I did not! Research revealed several Hindu creation myths – hooray for multiple potential beginnings without needing one to be right!  Here is one of the creation stories from Hindu mythology.

Before this time began, there was no heaven, no earth and no space between. A vast dark ocean washed upon the shores of nothingness and licked the edges of the night. A giant cobra floated on the waters. Asleep within its endless coils lay the Lord Vishnu. He was watched over by the mighty serpent.

Everything was so peaceful and silent that Vishnu slept undisturbed by dreams or motion. From the depths a humming sound began to tremble, Aum. It grew and spread, filling the emptiness and throbbing with energy.

Aum, or Om

The night had ended, Vishnu awoke.

History is, in part, the periodic oscillation of humanity falling asleep into the larger, darker dream and then awakening into the light of self-awareness. We are riding the wave of an awakening time right now. Pay attention to what and to whom you give your attention. Our moment -to -moment awareness is our most valuable currency.  Do not squander it on guilt and sacrifice. Do not squander it on exploiting and manipulating others. DO, yes, DO give your attention to all that is in your present moment. Give it to the joy, beauty, harmony, pain, suffering and dissonance that is within each moment of our existence. Breathe. Wait for instructions. Remember vibration. Dance and sing, move and vocalize however you are able. (In the head works, too)

Allow the awakening to unfold!

Separation and in-between – Jan-Ru Wan @ Visual Arts Exchange

Photo by Jan-Ru Wan

Several years ago, Jody Cassell and I performed a sound and movement work at the opening of Jan-Ru Wan’s collaborative installation entitled Resolving the Disquiet at the Durham Arts Council. Jody and Jan-Ru had connected over their mutual grieving around the deaths of their respective fathers. Grief was the focus of the exhibit that featured visual and performance work by two other artists, as well. In a recent email exchange Jan-Ru said that what motivated her to focus on grief in her art was the way Western culture encourages hidden grieving. Both Jody and Jan-Ru have connected with a public that is crying out to come together in a shared grieving process.

This weekend at Raleigh’s First Friday event, we will once again collaborate in a new exhibit Separation and in-between, which approaches grief from another point of view. In the time since the DAC exhibit, my youngest brother died and Jody has accompanied her Mother through many changes of aging. Both Jody and Jan-Ru continue to carry their fathers as well. Time and reflection change the shape, texture and weight of grief.

Jan-Ru’s Artist Statement inspired Jody’s movement and my soundscape:

For over two years Jan-Ru Wan gathered discarded hair from salons around the world (Arnhem, Netherlands; Taipei, Taiwan; Cary, Durham, and Chapel Hill, North Carolina) to create this installation, which speaks to global migration and culture.

Our hair is highly personal and yet universal. Hair is a marker of our identity—of our current self and of our desired self in that it can easily be altered in color and style. Hair is part of our body and yet we purposefully dispose of it, leaving behind pieces and strands in public places like barbershops and salons.

Here, DNA from countless hair samples from strangers across the globe have been combined by chance and stitched into printed silk pouches. Within each pouch, one person’s DNA intermixes with others, blending numerous identities into one piece to represent this global and confusing world.

Separation can refer to the hair physically separated from our body or to the emotional separation from our love ones. It can also refer to the separation from our past cultural identity that occurs when we are immersed in the global melting pot.

As Jan-Ru gathered hair, I gathered sound samples from my last visit to Trendsetters, where I have my hair cut. These samples have been layered in and slightly distorted so that the act of cutting away part of one’s self is suggested as well as represented. The tones and intervals of the soundscape are in the form of the pentatonic scale created when only the accidentals (the black keys on the piano) are played. This scale lies outside the more familiar Western intervals of the Aeolian/Solfege scale of the white keys. For the first part of the soundscape, these two worlds are separate.

Jan-Ru ends her Artist Statement with this wonderful image:

For my late father: The moment you left me our identities and destinies changed. We now have infinite space in between us, a constant that pushes us apart and yet draws close our hearts. The moment you separated from my body you took on a new adventure and a new identity, but here I am without you, my old memories combining with fresh ones.

The last section of the soundscape is made up of three tonic tones (BDE) with their natural harmonics articulated. So, for example, B is presented with A (its fifth) articulated in the second octave, and F# (its third) in the third octave. Usually triads are presented as chords in the same octave, in this case I have spread them out over several octaves representing infinite space and separation. As this plays out in long, slow waves, I improvise with just the three tonic tones as a drawing close of the hearts.

Jody’s movements interweave and juxtapose both the physical installation and the soundscape. Her use of angles, gestures and the overall space are an evocative exploration and expansion of the themes of Jan-Ru Wan’s work.

The opening is tonight, October 7, from 6 to 9 at VAE located at 309 W. Martin Street in Raleigh. Our first performance is at 6:45 pm, and we plan to present at several other points during the evening. We would love to see you there.