Minding the Oscillations

Reading deeply into sound, physics, chemistry, and nuerobiology, it becomes clear that lived experience is comprised of waveforms modulating each other. These waveforms weave around and through us. The waves are different frequencies and different amplitudes, they have different shapes and resonances AND they interact with each other, all of which creates various densities of matter. As extreme examples, there is a diamond and a thought. These extremes define the boundaries of material experience – the hatd shell of the matrix we exist within. There is more beyond these boundaries, and the more seems to be the field of conciousness.*

With this as a basic understanding, it is my intention to mind the oscillations, particularly those that eminate from my human being/my earth suit/the event horizon of my world. The waveforms I conjur come into phase relationships with themselves and with the waveforms of other human beings as we event our common reality/the hard-shell matrix. This is an amazing realization! This realization sheds light on a major question I have danced with in my life:

How can I be more loving? So much of my living is spent seeking love from “the world”. That was my quest for the first half of my living experience. While it does hurt so good, I finally realized the question is framed in an unhelpful way. So I am moving from how can I get more love, to how can I be more loving?

My most important practice for exploring this question is awareness and presence in the moment. We have been listening to Eckhart Tolle go on and on about this. He works very hard to articulate awareness/presence in all the ways that might possibly bounce around (or cut through) the mind. Listening to ET, I am aware of the trinity of self, egoic mind and conciousness all walking into a bar. (It is a good practice for them to stick together, although the bar was probably egoic mind’s idea.) These three are waveforms of their own, and their interactions eminate into manifest world! These two thought-fields (waveforms of matter and awareness through being) intersect at my heart.

One definition of oscillation (from physics) is

regular variation in magnitude or position around a central point

This aptly describes the interplay of these two planes intersecting through me at heart center. I feel this most intensely when I am sounding harmonics through a space. Especially using modular synthesis – with all the operators, envelopes, slopes, attenuations, triggers, gates and frequencies- to create actual sonic forms in space. At present I play with Ripplemaker ios app from Bram Bos. It is great to learn on. Ableton can function as a synthesizer. This is my focus at present- to configure Ableton into a synthesizer. (I am deeply desiring a modular system, but must go slowly due to funds. So work with what you have!)

This first week of 2019 – a new year (marking earth’s intersecting oscillations with the sun, moon and stars) brings some interesting mantras –

Listen more deeply, mind the oscillations, propagate harmonic vibrations, learn to play with forms, depersonalize the whole thing! The WoW

Alrighty then!!…on with the emanations!

*These books have informed my thinking about all this:

Long, Manya J. The Psyche as Interaction (Electromagnetic Patterns of Conscious Energy)

Lanza, Dr. Robert Biocentrism and Beyond Biocentrism

Joy to the World

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The year 2015 coming to an end has me thinking about time. Not time as a mechanistic ticking off of seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years, but time in a larger sense as moments and experiences that we organize into the “story of my life.” Every thought, feeling, action and reaction we bring into the corporeal world imprints on the matrix of being. And we weave all of this together into a fabrication of who we are, both individually and collectively. How is your story going? What is it about?

I wish all my friends wrote blogs so I could read their stories. Some friends do send year-in-review letters this time of year. I enjoy reading those immensely. I have the good fortune to be surrounded by interesting people who are passionate about love, food, creativity, and holding a high vibration. We are the light tenders, the love snipers; we do what we can where we are to energize the highest vibe possible. We love and respect the individual paths we are each on, and we shine light for each other along the way.

At the Interfaith Celebration this week, Rachel Wooten reminded us that to love is to be present with, to focus our loving awareness on another. In order to do this, we must first be present and aware of self. Loving one’s self is the foundation for loving everything outside of self. Acts of self-care and self-love are some of the most powerful healing actions you can take in the world. Our spiritual traditions, educational system, social/familial beliefs discourage loving of self in favor of service to others. Loving actions and service to self/to others are both sacraments of the compassionate heart. It is the good in people that calls us to give and to help others. But, you cannot pour from an empty cup, so our first responsibility is to take very good care of self.

There is a general feeling that the world is a scary and dangerous place right now. Even a cursory read of world history confirms that this has always been the case! Gertrude Stein said, “Everything is so dangerous that nothing is really very frightening.” – a wonderful example of a koan whose meaning shimmers just out of reach. FDR said “Only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Ghandi said, “The enemy is fear. We think it is hate, but it is fear.” “Fear not” and “Do not be afraid” reoccur throughout The Bible. All of these teachings point to a path away from fear. The scary and dangerous world (which we cocreate together) is shifting.

At dinner the other night, our soon-to-be teen granddaughter Erin, said, “well, I am afraid ISIS is going to come and kill us all.” Ah, yes, I remember the bomb shelters and the threat of nuclear devastation I came of age within. My mother came of age during the depression and World War II. Are we recognizing a pattern here? I love the state of the world at this moment because all of these patterns are coming to light. Patterns of belief that no longer serve and are no longer supported by the new energies flooding into our realm. The new energy fields of the planet do not support the political yammering and the media frenzy creating the “world about to end” story. All the patterns of control, cruelty and subterfuge are coming out into the light.As we learn to turn our attention within, and then without, we are creating a vibration of integrity, generosity, love, and acceptance of the incredible diversity this world engenders. We have the opportunity to use our most valuable currency – our moment to moment attention – to help the world evolve into a place of greater compassion and less violence.

How do we accomplish this shift? First, stop watching the news. Take in just enough mediated info to have some perspective. If you are watching hours of news, your currency is being used against you. After turning off all the media, sit in silence and stillness. Give full attention to your breath. Take three deep breaths into the heart. Ask for guidance from within. Just ask! And then pay attention throughout the day for signs from your guides. They love you dearly and will help you to live from your heart.

The next thing is the hardest to explain and of signifigant import – we must give up our “victim thinking”. Where else is there to go for one who has been victimized? Throughout time, people have been and are being vicitimized in some way by others. As a victim,  I feel the need for justice, reparations, and retribution. I feel the need to stay vigilant against further victimization. This gives my victimhood identity and value.  So some of my attention is taken by my need to keep my identity as victim alive in the world. Maintaining victimhood undermines personal power and free will choice. Once one is free from the victimizing situation, drop the need for vengeance, for rehash, for continuing to victimize yourself. Let it be finished.

Actually, “victim thinking” is part of a trio of roles we actively engage in that must ALL be given up. The idea here is from the teachings of Eric Berne and Transactional Analysis, which came into my life in my twenties. (Thank you, Dan Vice!) The Karpmann Drama Triangle has helped me be kinder and more present in all my relations. In our interactions we often play the role of either the victim, the rescuer or the persecutor, or a combination of these roles.  Recognizing when I am playing in the triangle, deconstructing where my attention is focused, and shifting my attention away from the drama in my mind and into the present moment, into this particular situation, with these people. When I look at my life so far, I see that I chose to play the victim or the rescuer most of the time. I so indentified with victim or rescuer that I could not even recognize when I was the persecutor.

I am starting a practice of questioning my own righteous indignation in all its guises. It is an anger discharge mechanism that brings about injury to myself and others. Anything that gets me riled up, or annoys me, I look for ways that I AM the thing that annoys me. I caught myself bullying Trudie the other day about something trivial (she forgave me!) This interaction haunted me for several days as I replayed my superior tone, accusatory language, and tightly-held body. I felt fiercly justified in my reaction. In this case, I was victimizing Trudie with my righteous indignation about something she may or may not have done. Giving  up these roles, means waking up to all the ways we create our own misery, lack, need, contempt, anger, rage, depression, fear by interpreting our experiences through filters of drama and pain.

Pay close attention to how your thoughts and beliefs shape your reality. Stay in the flow as much as possible. Say yes more than no. Always say no when you want to. Challenge your thoughts whenever they create pain in your gut, in your heart or in your head, in your life! We are taking an evolutionary step that involves a shift from “survival of the fittest” to “survival of the kindest.” Our brains are evolving so rapidly that medical and behaviorial sciences are struggling to keep up. Breathe deep, allow your conciousness to expand a little bit more with each breath, learn to listen to the guiding voice in your head that comes from your heart. Whatever may be happening feel the joy and love that carry us through each moment.

And, if you can’t feel it just now, trust it is there. That is faith, and it is a relief!

Resurrection (R)evolution

This is the time of the year when most everyone is aware of the story of Jesus Christ’s end without end. No matter what your faith, Holy Week activities resonate throughout our worlds. So I want to pay attention to this event and consciously invite it’s vibration into my life. This means becoming still inside and asking to be guided to the vibrations meaning. What does Jesus’ life and death mean to ascending beings?

All the ancient stories that make up the sacred traditions of the world contain a vibrational essence that has survived and driven them into this present moment. Because we are evolving at an increasingly accelerated tempo, these stories are shedding the baggage of mammon embodied in theological dogma (which has helped them to survive up to this point.) Now these stories are being distilled to their vibrational essence. This essence becomes more and more available as we look deeply into our own fears and how they shape our lived experience. What is the vibrational essence of the story of Jesus?

No one doubts that Jesus loved humanity and reassured us of that love over and over again. And directed us to be loving toward each other. When I look out upon the world, I see alot of people saying Jesus name, but taking actions that are way out of line with this teaching of love. Christians like to point to Jesus teaching’s on obedience and righteousness first and foremost. Then they set up their checklist of “acceptable” sins (any sins that I, my family and friends have committed) and “unacceptable” sins (any sins I wouldn’t dream of committing and no one else had better either). And they seem to be completely unable to see the disconnect here. They say let God be the judge, and then they step in and lay down their judgements. They say embrace Jesus, and then rarely celebrate the light this action would bring to their lives. Instead, they shut out the light with righteous anger and dogmatic judgements. And here I am doing the same thing. We become what we resist!

One of the reasons we revisit this story each year is because it is a lens through which we can refocus our lives. Jesus, like all the inspired beings who have pointed us toward this moment, was more of a guide than a teacher, more of an antennae than a glorifed human. The teachings of Christ have been processed through thick filters of language, politics and humanity’s struggle for power and control. While it is next to impossible to sift out exactly what Jesus said given the many translations, interpretations and omissions that have been visited upon the Bible over the millenia, the theme of love and the theme that we are the children of God are essential to Jesus’ teachings. And when I hear his teaching voice shift to the terms and conditions of this love with allegiance and obedience and giving over your Will – it doesn’t sound like Jesus anymore; it sounds more like the spin team. I think we might be hearing some reinterpretations coming from the people and institutions that need obedience and aquiesence in order to survive. Don’t look now, but the Bible may have been hijacked, packaged in fear and marketed to the angry, anxious and righteous.

I have many people in my my life who identify as Christians. Some are more “devout” than others, meaning they talk about their beliefs more and it is important to their personal identity. When people are excited and lit up by this, I love talking and sharing with them. When people routinely and unexaminedly judge others, exclude others, and believe themselves in some way superior or victimized for their chosen belief, I have a struggle connecting. The reason is complex as I recognize the mirror for what it is and begin my inquiry. In what ways am I judging, feeling disdain or righteous indignation at the Christians who dissassociate their actions from their beliefs? Can I forgive them their hubris? Can I forgive myself my own hubris. I would like to wake up to it before I die, and it is nice to know I will wake up completely when I die. Everybody does.

So here is my take on the Resurrection of Jesus Christ – human beings had been living on the earth for centuries with the opportunity to witness flowers, trees, grasses, most of our outdoor environment posture the cycle of everlasting life from seed to bud to flower to fruit to wilt to dried to dead and back again, year after year. But still human beings lived in fear of death which really made evolving in joy and love much harder. It seems we needed this wack up the side of the head wake up and smell the coffee example of Jesus Christ to make perfectly clear – “LIFE IS ETERNAL!”. He was a bullhorn announcement: “YOU ARE ETERNAL!” We were not quite ready to receive this message. Now, 2000 years later, as we begin to evolve into this knowledge (that can literally ease our fears and judgements), Jesus’ resurrection brings this eternal message into sharp focus…AGAIN.

Don’t miss this!